punk_pixie_dust

Recent Entries

Journal Info

Name
punk_pixie_dust

View

March 13th, 2009

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
So my baby pup is gone. I wish i knew what happened to him. When he was laying their totally paralyzed i was just searching his eyes for the answer, waiting for him to tell me what happened to him. Was it an accident? I or anyone else will never know.
I am 100% behind Jacob. I believe him when he says he didn't do it, and i want everyone to know that blaming him doesn't make me or anyone else's lives better. I understand that the circumstance doesn't make sense and the next best thing to do is blame Jake.

The only thing i can do is just assume that this was an accident. Things happen. I get so frustrated because i could have waited to take a shower...... I should have came out when i heard him cry. I should have made sure the bathroom door was latched so he would have stayed lying on the rug.
It pisses me off because i was going to take him for a walk when i got out. All i feel is regret and remorse, like i should have done this sooner, shouldnt have done that. I cant get passed it.
When he was about to be put to sleep he kept moving his little mouth like he was going to talk to me. He was having trouble breathing because his neck was broken. My poor pup.
I wanted to take him home even if he was completely paralyzed. His brain was totally their up until we put him to sleep! He was alert. He was aware of everything happening.
It was so hard to watch him slowly close his eyes, and then they opened again, meaning he was gone. Its not fair. He didnt do anything to anyone and niether did I to deserve any of this.

November 16th, 2008

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
Time goes by so fast. It seems like i had just moved to Seattle not very long ago....
And now Jake and i are getting into our own apartment in just a few days!
I am so excited i cannot wait one more minute! I want to decorate and organize our things, buy fluffy towels and learn to cook. I want to cuddle with him and watch TV, and come home to him when i come home late from work.
Its so close. These last 4 years have been so long but it has been well worth it. We took our time and i think we are very comfortable where we are right now.

No one can stop this feeeeelin' :]

November 1st, 2008

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
Jake and i both called in sick to work today. No one is home, its just us. We got to sleep in together, and relax all morning.
Last night he made me a wonderful dinner. I am sooo glad i didnt have to stay home alone on halloween. :]
He is staying again tonight and i am so excited to sleep in again with him.
I love him.

October 18th, 2008

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
i am so unhealthy. id like to detoxify my body but i dont know where to start.
I want to know how to get my hair to look right for once.
Id like to have smooth arms that are soft to the touch and my face, to be blackhead free.

Wouldnt it be nice to step into a detoxification box and have all the impurities sucked out of you.
Thats what i want for christmas......

October 1st, 2008

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
Walking into my 6th grade class at Washington middle school, i immediatly set my eyes upon a small boy to the left of me. He was skinny, with long limbs and sunken in eyes. His hair was a medium brown color and always fell in different ways around his forehead very sloppily. He had lips, which still to this day are too large for his face. After just a few weeks in that class, i developed a crush on that boy that would change my life forever.
By the time we entered 8th grade, that boy and i had dated. Our official date is January 17, 2004. I was 14, and he was 13. We fell in love.
Jake and I entered highschool and graduated just the same. He was my walking partner. That meant alot to me because he had been there through everything. He watched as i transformed into a young women. I watched as my Jakey turned from an awkwardly skinny boy into a tall, dark haired, lean man with facial hair that still makes me laugh because it sprouts in random places along his chin and cheek. He held my hand as we walked down the aisles in our cap and gown and all of the memories from the last 4 years flood through my brain; its unbelievable.
Now that were in our first year of college, sometimes i can see myself with him, marrying him. We are adults now and our relationship is much different than it was when we were an innocent 14. Its awesome in an aspect because we experienced the critical years of our teenage lives together. We had the same challenges to overcome.... together. When i look into his warm brown eyes, I can see our story unfold. I see the gleaming eyes of that young boy i met in 6th grade.
I will remember him for the rest of my life no matter what. You can Never forget the boy you had most of your firsts with. You can NEVER forget a chunk of 5 years of your life spent with the boy you fell head over heels for.

September 29th, 2008

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
I have to go to class today at 10:30. I want to meet someone life changing. I pictured college being this whole new place where people are happy to meet you and the variety of people will leave you with many different friends.
Its just like high school and im not sure if that sits well with me. Even the thirty-something adults taking classes with me are a little stuck up.
I miss Monica. I miss Erin. I miss Robby.
I would like to have a friend.

September 28th, 2008

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
The more intimate we get, the more love i have for him.
Is that how its supposed to work?

As much as i went to move along and be with other people; be social and try new things, i cant stop myself from wanting to be with him.
How do we know we truly love each other when we have never experienced anything else?
How do we know that the lack of judgment may ruin our marriage if we do decide to get married somewhere down the road?

Never let me fall out of love.

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
Since the internet obviously erased any form of information i have previously wrote, i will have to attempt to start again.
But its not the same when you try to write something over again. It doesn't have the same meaning as you intended it to have. And it definitely wont be as good as the original. but here I go:

when i see him I still get that small pang. I never see him in real life, only in pictures then and now. I see him as a move star, untouchable, even though i know what it feels like to kiss his lips. The feeling i get when i see these pictures is that of a crush, even still after all these years.
I was 14. 5 years have come and gone and i still have feelings for this stupid boy i dated for a mere 2 months. To me, that sounds ridiculous, i mean thats almost like an obsession. Why should i still have feelings for him?
I really didnt do anything to make him hate me so much. He treats me like one of those kids at school whom is invisible. Ill try to talk with him but i will get no reply.
I want to fix him. I want to know who he has become.


And this writing isnt nearly as good as what it was before it was lost...........
Powered by InsaneJournal